Note:
I asked how could he deny being the father of our 3 children when I was married off to him at 19, straight out of high school?
His relatives asked if I am willing to take an oath based on my assertion to prove my innocence. I said yes; but insisted I’m not going to their shrine as a christian.
They said then his accusations were true. Right there, I told them I was willing to swear I never cheated on him. Even when he was cheating left right and center and brought me diseases twice; they said he’s a man and can do anything he pleases. Esan tradition is for women to never cheat or even hug or accept gifts from any man without telling her husband or else the woman and her children will die.
At the shrine, they brought one red three-sided native kolanut and a bowl of water and told me to swear that if I ever in the 9 years I was married to my ex-husband I cheated-as in have sex, kiss or had intention to have sex with any man-I should die within 7 days. I repeated it.
They said I should eat the whole 1 kolanut and drink the water.
I said we’re not done sirs’’ I added: if ever I didn’t do anything my ex husband accused me of, may he and everyone who believed him die. And if he ever had sex with other women may his life be ruined for ever.
I drank the water and put the kolanut in my mouth and started chewing. His uncle called Oriri shouted Stop! Reverse that curse immediately!!.
I said, no sir, we will wait for 7 days…
This is my memoirs of how at 28 years old age,I left my 9 years marriage with my three children after years of enduring domestic violence due to societal / religious pressures and disdain for divorce and became single parent before going back to school to study my dream career Law in Nigeria. Currently remarried and settled in Michigan, USA with over 14 years post call at the Nigerian bar, I’m writing to let everyone enduring domestic violence in their relationship / marriage know that they deserve better and can still go for their dreams and find love.
Ending abusive relationship / marriage is not the end of your life. You can still get everything you deserve and desire. |
